If you don’t
already know who I am, that’s a first. I myself know plenty about firsts, being
the first man to not only walk on the moon, but swim. Multitasking is second
nature for me, I can read, write, and talk simultaneously, while riding a
unicycle. I farm potatoes in Antarctica. I’ve even read the entire harry potter
series.
I once
climbed Mount Everest in 20 minutes, 19 of which were spent building a snowman
at the bottom. Singing is a hobby of mine, in sign language. Growing red lemons
is a hobby of mine, and when life gives me lemons; I make apple juice. My
slinkies only move up stairs. I have my
own gravitational field, and the earth orbits around me. Monsters parents check
under the bed for me. I enjoy lawn bowling on Sunday afternoons.
I can solve
two rubric cubes at the same time, with one hand. Burning my cd’s? Never! I freeze them. I always stop the microwave
before it gets to zero. Cross country skiing down a mountain is a common
activity. I don’t wear hardhats on construction sites, even though it’s an
extreme safety hazard. Although I’m a world champion chess player, I have yet
to attend a college.
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