Wednesday 7 January 2015

Acceptance Letter


            If you don’t already know who I am, that’s a first. I myself know plenty about firsts, being the first man to not only walk on the moon, but swim. Multitasking is second nature for me, I can read, write, and talk simultaneously, while riding a unicycle. I farm potatoes in Antarctica. I’ve even read the entire harry potter series.

            I once climbed Mount Everest in 20 minutes, 19 of which were spent building a snowman at the bottom. Singing is a hobby of mine, in sign language. Growing red lemons is a hobby of mine, and when life gives me lemons; I make apple juice. My slinkies only move up stairs.  I have my own gravitational field, and the earth orbits around me. Monsters parents check under the bed for me. I enjoy lawn bowling on Sunday afternoons.

            I can solve two rubric cubes at the same time, with one hand. Burning my cd’s? Never!   I freeze them. I always stop the microwave before it gets to zero. Cross country skiing down a mountain is a common activity. I don’t wear hardhats on construction sites, even though it’s an extreme safety hazard. Although I’m a world champion chess player, I have yet to attend a college.

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